Competent incompetence

Following ten years service I will be leaving my current employer in February next year. It’s been a while coming so I’m actually glad to be going now but this means I have been looking for another job and with this comes the inevitability of the competency based interview.

I remember the interview that got me my original job at said current employer. It was the oddest and yet most enjoyable interview I have ever had, before or since. It probably showed the square-route of bugger all about my technical abilities but likely gave a fair insight into me as a person. There were such questions as ‘If you had £1500 to decorate a room in your house, which would you choose and why?” I chose my kitchen and waxed lyrical about how I would put everything where is was accessible and make sure I was never working in my own light. I remember agonising for days about what I had given away about myself. The kitchen was at least a productive and potentially creative room in the house, I supposed. Would they therefore assume I was both those things? If I’d have chosen my bedroom would that have implied I was lazy and self-indulgent? When I eventually got the job I asked my boss what all the psychometrics were about and he said that they simply wanted to see if a) I had an opinion and b) was able to express it convincingly. No problem there then.

What was great about that interview was just how hard it would have been to prepare for and ultimately blag. It wouldn’t have been possible to do what most people do in interviews and pretend that everything that has been achieved by the more talented people around them was actually their own work. These days interviewers spend about five minutes talking through your CV and 55 asking you to ‘describe a time when... (enter improbable situation here)’. Call me a spoil sport but I find it hard to recall times when ideas ‘haven’t gained approval’ and therefore struggle to waffle about ‘what I did to overcome the problem’ blah, blag, blah! What I do say is often a montage of right answers rather than any genuine insight and therefore only likely to inform of my ability to say the right thing – perhaps something that large corporations are actually looking for, who knows.

There is a lot of talk about what women bring to the work place. Some speak of compassion, people and listening skills. Likewise, that older people bring more experience and perspective to the table. You will not hear me argue that diversity is bad, quite the opposite. But it occurred to me during some interview preparation recently that parenthood itself develops many of the so called competencies required in the work place. At our place these are grouped together under elaborate titles such as ‘Achieving Excellence’ and ‘Collaborating for Success’. I genuinely do not believe that my ability to ‘Persuade and Influence’ has grown more at any other time than when my daughter learnt to walk and speak. Being able to go where she wanted and say what she wanted (or rather not go if she didn’t want to) presented a whole new set of challenges to me as a parent. It became crucial to identify the ‘win-win’ situation for anything to happen.

Me: “Hurry up and get dressed, we need to get to nursery”

Her: “I’m watching Peppa Pig”

Me: “If we get to nursery quickly we can show everyone your new doll.”

Her: “Ok, mummy. But he’s not my doll he’s my brother.”

Similarly, when we discovered how competitive my daughter is (well, the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree) this was put to great use by having ‘who can get dressed the fastest’ competitions in the morning. This was actually my husband’s idea proving that this isn’t a mum thing, it’s a parent thing. Problem solved.

The sad fact is that despite leaps forward in legislation, women who have children or are likely to have children are discriminated against in the job market. I actively avoid talking about my family situation in interviews as I fear mentioning my one daughter will prompt the mental calculation in my interviewer’s head – 1 female in her mid-thirties plus 1, three-year-old child equals pregnancy waiting to happen. I do get it of course, it is a nightmare to recruit good people, not to mention expensive, and I have no doubt that smaller companies must be crippled when even one member of staff goes off for a year. But good, experienced, clever, talented people should be having children so there’s half a chance of some good, experienced, clever, talented people in the world in 20 odd year’s time.

Raising children is hard, rewarding work. Working for money is the same. Done well they can both inform and improve each other. In our two-parent family my daughter already knows that dividing and conquering can be extremely effective in getting her own way. Parenting golden rule number one almost has to be to present a united front at all times and if that’s not ‘Collaborating for Success’ I don’t know what is!

Jec
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One of those end of the year message fings...

I simply cannot believe it is the middle of December already. Twelve months ago almost to the day I was celebrating being offered the best job of my career so far and was on cloud nine. I only wish the joy could have lasted a bit longer but no sooner had the ink dried on the contract and I had put the finishing touches to the plans for my team than we got the news that our department was going to suffer some serious cuts. I knew instantly that I would be affected. I even got into a bit of trouble for saying so (naivety on my part) but had I drawn a picture of our new structure and put it in a sealed envelope it would have looked remarkably like the one that eventually came into existence in July. As foreseen, my role was going. Funny really, I usually like being right! The crap didn’t exactly end there and following a farce of an ‘alternative role’ (which I would add I was grateful to them for trying seeing as it was an effort to keep me) a few weeks ago I had confirmation that once again my job was to be redundant.

It’s hard spending all year not really having a purpose at work. It’s harder when you had such high hopes going in. I feel I’ve lost some confidence and need to get my mojo back (sorry, but I cannot even type that word without hearing Cheryl Cole’s voice – mooojooo). On the flip side I’ve spent more time with my daughter this year than at any time since I was on maternity leave. She starts school in September and my husband and I have the task of selecting our choice of school. I can already see her in her little grey skirt and blue sweatshirt so she better get in down the road! She’s turning into even more of a character and constantly makes us laugh, particularly when we really shouldn’t. Oh, how I laughed when after bellowing at the TV during a Spurs Arsenal game she quietly told her father to ‘calm down’. Priceless.

This year we got a new niece, Abigail. That makes a full house as both of my husband’s brothers now have children. We had our first gathering at the grandparents last weekend and it was wonderful. I can only imagine what Christmases will be like. The kids adore each other and genuinely seem to get a lot out of playing together.

Our world seems to be full of babies at the moment. Several more came along this year courtesy of various friends. Some took their time and some came far too early, scaring the bejesus out of everyone in the process, and one even turned up precisely on schedule but then her mum always was a pretty good project manager.

As is customary, and because I intend to have a much improved 2011, I thought I would have a go at some early New Year’s Resolutions. Given we’re a couple of weeks away from Jan 1 I’ll call them Draft Version 0.1 but they’re pretty much there I think.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone. Let’s hope 2011 is a belter!

Jec
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I will make a curry from scratch (this has been on my list for 4 years)

I will cook at least one new meal each month (this has been on my list for about 10 years)

I will use fewer supermarket carrier bags

I will remember to take with me the ‘bags for life’ and cotton carrier bags I have bought to achieve previous resolution

I will invite friends round to dinner more often

I will remember everyone’s birthdays

I will open my post on the day I get it

I will endeavour to tell the truth in the moment and not wish I’d told it afterwards

I will not resolve to lose weight because that is a waste of time

I will put some money in a tax efficient savings thing and not have it languish in an account where it does bugger all for me

I will weed my flower beds more often

I will buy things for my house that I like and don’t necessarily come from high street shops (Kirstie Allsopp gushes with pride)

I will go to an antiques auction (see above)

I will read at least one whole book (you thought this would be ‘per month’ didn’t you, but I will settle for the whole of 2011)

I will change the towels and bedclothes in my house more regularly

I may get a cleaner

I will colour my hair more often to avoid looking like a grey old hagbag as it doesn’t take that long and isn’t too annoying

I will see more of my side of the family and not just because it’s someone’s birthday

I will smile a bit more and cry and bit less

I will remember what I’ve got and how lucky I am

xxx